Sunday, May 31, 2009

Abraham Lincoln


I have confirmed that Abraham Lincoln is an intensely hot conservative male. I know what you’re thinking… wait… what?... Abraham Lincoln? Yes, honest babe Lincoln.

First off, he was a doting father. Who needs this picture when a conservative woman has the real thing? Where some unmerciful feminists have to stage pictures in books and brow-beat their men into submission, conservative women have manly men who choose to do the right thing. The book states, “…unlike most men of the day, Lincoln played a big role in helping to raise his small children. This was so unusual that it drew comments from townspeople. He spent a lot of time playing with Willie and Tad. He read to them, gave them rides on his shoulders, and towed them around in a toy wagon.” I had to read that again... late at night... with some chocolate.

Sure, he could have been more Man Pants about Mrs. Lincoln’s over the top spending . But, Abraham Lincoln handled it like a conservative husband usually does, with sarcasm and wit. After Mary Lincoln had lavishly redecorated their house Abraham Lincoln said to a neighbor, “Stranger, do you know where Lincoln lives? He used to live here." A liberal male would have taken you to a store that he thinks is trendy, pushed you out of the way in line, so he could buy his overpriced horribly awful jeans and whatever else is the latest fashion trend.

Thank God for conservative men like President Abraham Lincoln, a doting father and witty husband.

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